May be this is the wrong question to ask .. may be .. i should start with why do people fall in love in the first place ? A lot of trigerring events this week has me wondering..
One of my closest friend had her heart broken yesterday… and when i mean broken i mean shattered..pounded..smashed in a million pieces. To give you a short version – Two of my classmates let’s call them A and G were in a relationship.. it’s been around 8 years. G is one of the sweetest girl i know ..They graduated together.. studied for exams together.. and built a dream for future together . They were so much in love.The guy A got a job in US last year, G stayed in Nepal.. so naturally when he went back to Nepal for a holiday recently we thought he was going to get married to G.
Then he changed his facebook status to engaged while in Nepal ..”so is the norm these days.” .and we thought… wow the wedding days are nearer. He sent us the facebook wedding invitation ..and that was the moment when i felt as if the floor was being swept away from my floor. The invitation was for marriage allright.. but the bride was a totally new one. I was so shocked that my mind went completely blank for a moment.I was virtually spinning .I picked up my phone and called G…. the response i got back was equally chilling…..
G ….told me she got the same invitation as i did… knew about the engagement from A’s facebook status and was in more severe shock than i was. I listened to her chilling detail when she told me she had absolutely no idea what was going on.She had no idea what hit her. I virtually stood motionless..listened and … ..after the call ended cursed and cursed bad.
I never fell in love in college, never know what a broken heart feels like personally but …i have seen 3 ..now the count is increased to 4 ..of my closest friend go through the trauma. yes..they have found happiness again..but at the moment of breaking it was Raw ..it was REAL AND it was bad.. i have spent countless nights ..talking crying and arguing. with them .. countless nights scolding them … i know the pain… we all laugh about it now like a distant dream ..but it was real then. — i still remember one of my friend’s quote back from those days.. “the worst part about falling out of love, is wondering if you’ll ever open up that far again. ….. I just have to know .. does he ever miss me, do I ever just randomly enter his mind.”
This new recent incidence has me thinking again.. why do people fall in love and why do they fall out of it so easily?
Back in college ..when everyone was falling in love..when life was all about crushes..infatuation and love.. all about dating and bunking classes.. we thought we knew everything about love . we had our Roshy shades of glasses on life ..who thought it was possible to fall out of it ?? It was so unimaginable back then … still is to me… oh..how naive we were…..but as time passed i have seen people crazily in love with each other treat each other as strangers..getting married to someone else . WOW.. how life has changed since we were in college… was it so long ago?
Sometimes i think— does it make you feel better..do you feel less pain if you break a relationship rather than being the one who gets his/her broken by you? I know time heals everything ..but do you later in life say in 10-20 years still remember what you did to the other person? Do their memories fade…? Do you remember and compare ? Do you regret? …it’s so strange ..how can you love someone for so long and just forget about them and start a new life altogether..is it so easy to fall out of love? just for once i would like to hear from someone who went through it…fell in love fell out and started life with someone else… how it feels after a decade or so?
when i asked G – why.. what happened? she gave a simple one lined answer– “He changed… People change “……. makes me wonder .. was the change so sudden ? or was it so gradual that they didn’t even realise.